Jennifer responded to my “fuck authenticity” post. She asked about transparency.
I’m a fan. I like your writing style and how you deliver an idea.
I’ve been into the idea of transparency.
Are transparent people more inviting? Less self absorbed?
When someone is transparent, does that automatically make them seem more authentic?
First, thanks. I like my writing style too.
I’m cooler with the idea of transparency than I am with that of “authenticity.”
Transparency makes more sense. It’s more clear. Less obtuse.
Transparency is actionable. It’s easier to tell if you’re being transparent than if you’re being authentic.
It’s fair to say that transparent people are more “inviting.”
As for whether or not transparent people are less self-absorbed, I’m not sure. Those two things don’t seem to be related.
The most interesting question is the last one.
“When someone is transparent, does that automatically make them seem more authentic?”
Probably.
This applies to life, in general, but I’m going to assume we’re talking about transparency and “authenticity” in the online worlds/businesses we’re creating.
I don’t think anyone knows what authenticity is. And attempting to “be authentic” seems like a waste of time and thought. But it’s safe to say that people like doing business with people they perceive to be “authentic.”
And being “transparent” seems a smart way to demonstrate whatever the fuck people think authenticity is.
But, we must make a distinction. Rather than just the general notion of transparency, it’s better to think about it more as “selective (or strategic) transparency.”
This is not to say that you should only “select” good things.
I’m NOT suggesting that you shouldn’t be transparent about “bad” or negative aspects of your life or personality.
It’s not only dishonest to holdback everything negative, it’s generally a good idea to be transparent about “bad” things because they’re often the best upon which to build connection and, therefore, influence.
But you don’t want to just blast them in the face with every god damn thing.
Selective transparency is about both disclosure and holdback.
What you should be transparent about — what to disclose and what to withhold depends on what you’re trying to accomplish.
I’ll give some examples in a future post.
Thanks for the question.
PS - this [daily post] is getting hard. I’m pretty sure I’m in that period Seth Godin refers to as “the dip.” I’ve been here many times. If/when I get through this next 7-10 days, shit should start getting interesting. For now, your questions help.
Ryan…. The question “ are transparent people more inviting, less self absorbed? “…. That’s a good one.
In my opinion ( which is another relatable topic), transparency equals vulnerability if done authentically. So when you’re open about your struggles, your wins, your questions, your downfalls, your opinions…. It’s 100% being authentically transparent and that’s EXACTLY what the readers ( the ones that should matter to you) find so intoxicating about you.
Self absorbed people don’t ask questions or care about what other people think… they don’t think about others at all.
Having opinions , knowing what you think or why you think it or being able to say you don’t know the answer… are all characteristics that are opposite of being self absorbed.
I think it’s possible to overthink who we are ( especially if you care about being transparent/ authentic) and thus we start behaving in a way that caters to what others think we should be and not to who we WANT to be.
Anyway… that was a long winded way of me trying to say that we should all do what we love, What makes us feel productively happy … and the right people will align with you. Write what feels good. Take a day or week off if that feels good.
And trust me… your emails make us feel things, shift our perspective about things, and gets us off IG😉!
Keep it up 😉💪🏼🙌