So much charisma

Yesterday, I showed someone a couple of the responses I’ve received to my emails lately, she was like:

😳 Ryan, I’ve been watching you for about a year.  I have to say, when you’re on, you have so much charisma. And more ability to move people than most… it makes complete sense why you get overwhelmed when you’re getting messages like this.

This was cool for me.

I have always looked up to the guys who seemed to have charisma (or as my 14 year old nephew would say “W rizz bruh”). Much of my behavior between the ages of 18-32 was about figuring out how to talk to women — and just generally be more attractive.

In fact, my interest in marketing came, in a roundabout way, through my research on “how to pick up chicks.”

In the early 2000’s, there was a guy called David DeAngelo who had this information business called “Double Your Dating.”

I just checked right now and it looks like it no longer exists, but he used to send out super, super long emails every day with advice about how to talk to girls. The emails would literally be about 17 pages long because he’d also include a stack of testimonials at the bottom of each one.

I read every single damn one of those things — top-to-bottom. I was always too scared to apply any of the advice, but I definitely imagined myself doing what he said to do.

One of those emails was about how to flirt with a cashier at a coffee shop. This was before we swiped/tapped our own credit cards — and we actually handed them over to the person ringing you up.

(I realize how absolutely fucking ridiculous this is. I never tried it, and even if I did, I wouldn’t admit it. It’s awful)

He said:

“place your order and when she tells you how much it costs… hold out the card. And when she goes to take it, pull it back a couple of inches so she misses. She’ll try to grab it again — when she does, do the same thing. This time, she’ll look up at you. Smile at her.”

I mean, I’m sure it would work if the right guy does it — the right way — with the right energy. But still, fucking gross.

Anyway, fast forward a couple of years to 2004 — I opened a personal training facility. I had a few trainers working for me and the business was built primarily on referrals. We were busy enough to be profitable — but I got to a point where I was no longer cool with having no control of client intake.

I hated that I didn’t know when and where the next client was going to come from.

So I googled “marketing for personal trainers.”

I found a marketing guy named Yanik Silver who was teaching copywriting — and through his email marketing, I heard about another guy named Eben Pagan.

Turns out, Eben Pagan was also David DeAngelo, of Double Your Dating fame.

He taught marketing under his real name and pick-up/seduction under his David D. pseudonym.

Anyway, some days I know I’m charismatic, but it was nice to be reminded… because I still spend way too much time feeling like 4th grade Ryan with no game.

PS - I realized I hadn’t really given you any backstory lately. It’s important. Worked a bunch of stuff in there. Feels pretty good.