Why did you deactivate your Instagram?

Who even am I?

The simple answer is I needed to make some space to remember who I was before I became that fucking @ guy. The guy who’s always switched on, always looking for some fucking whiz-bang insight to ‘share.’

It’s been increasingly difficult for me to just create things for my own entertainment. I think that’s what I used to do. I think. I think I miss it.

I’ve been convinced that if I wasn’t showing up, I wouldn’t make money. What a fucking horrible, self-limiting garbage belief that is. It’s never been true, but god damn do I believe it in my fucking bones.

Sure, I could have just left the account alone and/or deleted the app. In fact, I did that for a long while. I’d been spending less and less time scrolling — less time comparing myself to other people.

But it wasn’t getting the job done.

I was still fucking miserable.

I’m certain that Instagram permanently transformed me in a lot of ways… some good, some not-so-good. It gave me a platform to practice showing up, to use my voice, to make and stand-behind bold claims.

I’ll be back eventually. I’m not sure when. Maybe sooner, maybe later. Maybe with a new account, maybe with the same account.

Maybe I’ll realize that it’s an instrumental part of my creative process. Maybe the time away from it will make me realize that it’s more good than bad.

Who fucking knows?

It’s been a little more than a week and I’m happy with the decision.

PS - i’m not sure if i’m going to keep using Substack. It’s fine for now. Convenient. But there’s something about giving up control to another god damn platform that I don’t like. I might take the party to my own server. I’ll let you know.