I sometimes get new client enquiries like this - where they list off a bunch of generic problems they need to fix rather than tell me about themselves. I'm really surprised to see it in this context: since this is a private message, why be so anonymous? It's much more typical that I get more personal details than I really need, but I can take or leave them which is better than having nothing to go on.
I'm gonna have to think about this some more now, as I can see why people do this in marketing (worried about privacy/oversharing or being "too" specific) but not why in an personal email.
hey Emily. Cool to hear from you. I know what you mean with those types of client inquiries. Could be a bunch of things… I could see people consuming so much coaching and self-help content that the abstract language has replaced their actual experience, in some way. Like instead of thinking “I eat cereal for dinner every night and cry in my car before work,” they think “I’m stuck and unfulfilled.” Like the coaching vocab colonized their memory.
Or they could even be like performing the role of “person who needs coaching.” They see how other people talk about their problems and mirror it…. i think this is kinda what happens on the coach’s end too. Everyone modeling everyone else’s abstractions.
But I suppose the simplest one could just be that the specific story is embarrassing and the abstract one is not. “I need help with my limiting beliefs” is painless to type. “I gained 15 kilos and haven’t had sex in three years” is not… even in a private message.
Any of this ring true?
Whatever the case, it seems like something worth poking at… you could write and/or post about it. You might could even train people on how to communicate with you by just raising it like something you're thinking/wondering about.
Hi Ryan, good to be in touch! Thanks for the reply. Yes it rings true. And great idea to write about it, certainly for myself. Don't know if I need to train people to communicate with me, but maybe I learn something in my writing-reflections that will be useful to others.
I sometimes get new client enquiries like this - where they list off a bunch of generic problems they need to fix rather than tell me about themselves. I'm really surprised to see it in this context: since this is a private message, why be so anonymous? It's much more typical that I get more personal details than I really need, but I can take or leave them which is better than having nothing to go on.
I'm gonna have to think about this some more now, as I can see why people do this in marketing (worried about privacy/oversharing or being "too" specific) but not why in an personal email.
hey Emily. Cool to hear from you. I know what you mean with those types of client inquiries. Could be a bunch of things… I could see people consuming so much coaching and self-help content that the abstract language has replaced their actual experience, in some way. Like instead of thinking “I eat cereal for dinner every night and cry in my car before work,” they think “I’m stuck and unfulfilled.” Like the coaching vocab colonized their memory.
Or they could even be like performing the role of “person who needs coaching.” They see how other people talk about their problems and mirror it…. i think this is kinda what happens on the coach’s end too. Everyone modeling everyone else’s abstractions.
But I suppose the simplest one could just be that the specific story is embarrassing and the abstract one is not. “I need help with my limiting beliefs” is painless to type. “I gained 15 kilos and haven’t had sex in three years” is not… even in a private message.
Any of this ring true?
Whatever the case, it seems like something worth poking at… you could write and/or post about it. You might could even train people on how to communicate with you by just raising it like something you're thinking/wondering about.
Hi Ryan, good to be in touch! Thanks for the reply. Yes it rings true. And great idea to write about it, certainly for myself. Don't know if I need to train people to communicate with me, but maybe I learn something in my writing-reflections that will be useful to others.