How are you doing?
My therapist always asks how I’m doing — or even worse, how I’m “feeling.”
And you know what — I realized I have no idea how to make that determination without considering my work.
If I’m not publishing stuff and getting feedback, how the fuck am I supposed to know how I’m doing/feeling?
Who does that?
How can one know how they’re doing if they’re not pinging off other people?
Is that even a thing?
Part of me doesn’t believe anyone who says they can do it.
Like “ok bro. Sure.”
We got into this whole discussion about the inherent value of a person.
Do you walk around feeling inherently valuable? Just hanging out in your sweet, sweet value?
Oh, you do?
Well, la-di-fucking-da. Good for you.
If I’m not contributing something, making something, doing something… what the hell right do I have to feel “valuable?”
That’s gotta be some kind of superpower, no? Or it might be a fatal flaw — I’m not sure yet.
I have to admit, it does sound pretty cool.
You better hope I don’t figure it out or I just might say fuck this “daily email” thing and go to hourly.
I’ll be unstoppable.
-Ry
PS - I’ve sent an email 22 days in a row. (And 29 out of the last 40 days)
I started March 1 with one every few days, and then made the decision to go daily on March 20.
I’m not sure how long I’m going to keep it up. I have to do it for at least one month before I can change the commitment. I’m not sure why, but it feels lame to not hit that milestone — as arbitrary as it is.
PPS - The open rate has been above 60% for all but this one.
Hey Ryan,
I’ve been into men’s psychology to help understand myself and you’re hitting on a very important story.
Men and women are different. Yes I said it.
If you want to do therapy do it. But research and experience shows that talking it out only goes so far for men.
We need to feel powerful, important and that we are contributing in a meaningful way that helps ourselves and others.
I love the spiritual ideal of every person has inherent value. It’s beautiful. It’s the major thread in Western civilization and it’s necessary.
But it doesn’t mean you can just sit around and feel good about yourself.
It’s like that stupid book “the secret”.
If all we do is fill our mind with dreams of what we desire it won’t mean a damn thing without the key of action.
We still need to act no matter what.
We are not trees.
Movement is required and the aspect of ourselves that judges us to understand where we are in the hierarchy is necessary and it’s another important component of why we are the dominant species on the planet.
I’ll check out the hourly emails but might be too far even for you :p
If you didn't learn it as a kid, maybe as an adult is not a matter of accepting that everyone and yourself has inherent value just by existing, but that is a choice you make and force yourself to do it everyday until it's stuck with you