I’ve been into men’s psychology to help understand myself and you’re hitting on a very important story.
Men and women are different. Yes I said it.
If you want to do therapy do it. But research and experience shows that talking it out only goes so far for men.
We need to feel powerful, important and that we are contributing in a meaningful way that helps ourselves and others.
I love the spiritual ideal of every person has inherent value. It’s beautiful. It’s the major thread in Western civilization and it’s necessary.
But it doesn’t mean you can just sit around and feel good about yourself.
It’s like that stupid book “the secret”.
If all we do is fill our mind with dreams of what we desire it won’t mean a damn thing without the key of action.
We still need to act no matter what.
We are not trees.
Movement is required and the aspect of ourselves that judges us to understand where we are in the hierarchy is necessary and it’s another important component of why we are the dominant species on the planet.
I’ll check out the hourly emails but might be too far even for you :p
I'm still not 100% sure on therapy, but I feel good enough about what's happened so far to keep trusting it. She (Carly, my therapist) is solid and she's earned my trust. I don't exactly know why I'm going other than I felt sorta called to it -- like i needed to make some kinda change or I was going to keep running in circles.
But I totally feel you on needing to feel powerful, important, and like we are contributing in meaningful ways. I don't imagine Carly would suggest that I think otherwise... but I do think there's something for me to look at in that spiritual idea about everyone having inherent value. I just have no idea how to make sense of it yet.
100% with you on that stupid book 😂 I've never even made the attempt to read it, but I do get the concept. (and it was totally cribbed from a much earlier book, from like the 40's or something -- i'm forgetting the title, but it also had "The Secret" in it.
"Movement is required and the aspect of ourselves that judges us to understand where we are in the hierarchy is necessary" makes total sense. Nice insight.
And haha, the hourly emails might indeed be too far, even for me... but I'm sayin tho.
I used to be so lost in fantasy land thinking about my desires and where I will be, over the last few months I've let go of that and just taken action, things have unfolded in such an organic way. Someone was speaking about Morita (Japanese) therapy and the difference between that and western therapy. Often times in western therapy you end up talking so much about feelings but with Morita its more about just taking action despite the feeling. Coming back to focus and attention.
If you didn't learn it as a kid, maybe as an adult is not a matter of accepting that everyone and yourself has inherent value just by existing, but that is a choice you make and force yourself to do it everyday until it's stuck with you
Hi Carolina. Good to hear from you. Thanks. Cool comment... I think this is what i'm trying to do. (force myself to do it every day until it's stuck with me)
Pretty sure that's why I started seeing this therapist, and why I worked with a coach last year, and why I'm talking about it publicly, and why i'm having conversations with friends every day about these sorts of things.
Appreciate the input. I'll remember what you said.
You learned, as a kid, to value yourself based on what comes back when you ping off of other people. Some people learned to value themselves based on their bank account or their place in a status hierarchy. It's kind of arbitrary but you can't just change it on a whim.
Come to think of it, I do the pinging thing too. I hope your reply doesn't ruin my self-esteem. But that's a lot of responsibility I'm putting on you, considering I haven't given any clues as to what kind of reply I'm hoping for.
Haha, you or I may not know what kind of reply you're hoping for... but I know what kind i was hoping for. Or at least, i know what kind I was not hoping for:
I'm looking for someone who doesn't tell me it's from my god damn childhood 😂 can't someone tell me what I want to hear?!
(or maybe i just have to start listening)
I have so few memories from when I was a kid. I hope some stuff starts coming back to me so I can find evidence that this is the case. (part of me knows it is)
Thanks bruh. I hope I didn't ruin your self-esteem too.
Hey Ryan,
I’ve been into men’s psychology to help understand myself and you’re hitting on a very important story.
Men and women are different. Yes I said it.
If you want to do therapy do it. But research and experience shows that talking it out only goes so far for men.
We need to feel powerful, important and that we are contributing in a meaningful way that helps ourselves and others.
I love the spiritual ideal of every person has inherent value. It’s beautiful. It’s the major thread in Western civilization and it’s necessary.
But it doesn’t mean you can just sit around and feel good about yourself.
It’s like that stupid book “the secret”.
If all we do is fill our mind with dreams of what we desire it won’t mean a damn thing without the key of action.
We still need to act no matter what.
We are not trees.
Movement is required and the aspect of ourselves that judges us to understand where we are in the hierarchy is necessary and it’s another important component of why we are the dominant species on the planet.
I’ll check out the hourly emails but might be too far even for you :p
Good shit man. Thanks for this.
I'm still not 100% sure on therapy, but I feel good enough about what's happened so far to keep trusting it. She (Carly, my therapist) is solid and she's earned my trust. I don't exactly know why I'm going other than I felt sorta called to it -- like i needed to make some kinda change or I was going to keep running in circles.
But I totally feel you on needing to feel powerful, important, and like we are contributing in meaningful ways. I don't imagine Carly would suggest that I think otherwise... but I do think there's something for me to look at in that spiritual idea about everyone having inherent value. I just have no idea how to make sense of it yet.
100% with you on that stupid book 😂 I've never even made the attempt to read it, but I do get the concept. (and it was totally cribbed from a much earlier book, from like the 40's or something -- i'm forgetting the title, but it also had "The Secret" in it.
"Movement is required and the aspect of ourselves that judges us to understand where we are in the hierarchy is necessary" makes total sense. Nice insight.
And haha, the hourly emails might indeed be too far, even for me... but I'm sayin tho.
Thanks bro.
I used to be so lost in fantasy land thinking about my desires and where I will be, over the last few months I've let go of that and just taken action, things have unfolded in such an organic way. Someone was speaking about Morita (Japanese) therapy and the difference between that and western therapy. Often times in western therapy you end up talking so much about feelings but with Morita its more about just taking action despite the feeling. Coming back to focus and attention.
https://www.moritaschool.com/read-me
Dude this is cool as fuck. I've never heard of morita. Thanks for sharing.
I'm v happy to hear things are unfolding organically for you. That's the best.
If you didn't learn it as a kid, maybe as an adult is not a matter of accepting that everyone and yourself has inherent value just by existing, but that is a choice you make and force yourself to do it everyday until it's stuck with you
Hi Carolina. Good to hear from you. Thanks. Cool comment... I think this is what i'm trying to do. (force myself to do it every day until it's stuck with me)
Pretty sure that's why I started seeing this therapist, and why I worked with a coach last year, and why I'm talking about it publicly, and why i'm having conversations with friends every day about these sorts of things.
Appreciate the input. I'll remember what you said.
You learned, as a kid, to value yourself based on what comes back when you ping off of other people. Some people learned to value themselves based on their bank account or their place in a status hierarchy. It's kind of arbitrary but you can't just change it on a whim.
Come to think of it, I do the pinging thing too. I hope your reply doesn't ruin my self-esteem. But that's a lot of responsibility I'm putting on you, considering I haven't given any clues as to what kind of reply I'm hoping for.
Haha, you or I may not know what kind of reply you're hoping for... but I know what kind i was hoping for. Or at least, i know what kind I was not hoping for:
I'm looking for someone who doesn't tell me it's from my god damn childhood 😂 can't someone tell me what I want to hear?!
(or maybe i just have to start listening)
I have so few memories from when I was a kid. I hope some stuff starts coming back to me so I can find evidence that this is the case. (part of me knows it is)
Thanks bruh. I hope I didn't ruin your self-esteem too.